Thought: "When you are in deep SHIT, say nothing, and
try to look like you know what you're doing."
Nicolas FAVRE
www.premieregalerie.com
Title: Why
Why did Noah not crashed this two mosquitos?
Alexandre CASTONGUAY
Title: Blonde with the Potatoes
There was a blonde a brunette and a red head. They were all being chased by the cops so all of
them ran down the alley and hided in a sack of patatoes. then the cops kick the potatoe sack
the the red head was in and see said meow. The cops said oh its only a cat.Then the cops
kicked the brunette and she said woff the cops said oh its only a dog. So then the cops kicked
the blonde and she said POTATOES.
This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet
OU YANG JIAO JIA
www.artgallery-toulouse.com
Title: Bear, Rabbit, & Genie
One afternoon, a bear was chasing a rabbit through the woods. As the rabbit dove through a
bush in an attempt to escape, he collided with an old dusty genie lamp. This tripped him up,
which in turn tripped up the bear, and the both of them tumbled down a small hill along with
the lamp, which promptly opened.
The genie turned and saw the two animals, and said, "Clearly, I owe my freedom to you both.
Normally, I would grant three wishes and no more, but since you have both helped me, you
shall both receive three wishes!"
The bear shoved the rabbit aside and said, "I wish all the other bears in this forest were
female!" The genie replied, "Done," and turned to the rabbit.
The rabbit was deep in thought, and finally said, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet my size."
The bear rolled his eyes, thinking, "What a waste of a perfectly good wish!" But the genie
simply said, "Done," and a small motorcycle helmet appeared in the rabbit's paws, and he put
it on.
When the genie asked the bear for his second wish, the bear hit himself in the head. "I'm so
stupid! Okay, okay-- I wish all the other bears in the whole COUNTRY were female!! Yeah!"
The genie smiled, and said, "Done!"
The rabbit then said, "I wish for a motorcycle sized for me, with a full tank!" And \poof!> the
motorcycle appeared. Again, the bear scoffed at the rabbit's obvious short-sightedness.
Finally, the bear gave his third wish. His eyes went wide and he asked, "Wait. Can you make
it so all the other bears in the WORLD were female?" The genie said, "Certainly." So the bear
wished that and it was granted.
The rabbit, meanwhile, had mounted his new toy and was revving the engine. He turned to the
genie, pointed at the bear and said, "I wish he was GAY", and sped off!
This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet
Title: Fuck
Today, I call an agency for a problem of septic system.
Two employees come, I took them into the garden to show them
the lid of the pit. They open and we see a flood of condoms
floating on the surface. I don't use condoms with my wife ...
Title: The idiot
A man come to see a lawyer and tell him that he want to divorce.
The lawyer ask him "why?". The man say because my wife call me "idiot".
The lawyer answer him than it seems to be not enough and ask him the situation.
The man explain than yesterday he arrive at home early and he find his wife at bed
with a stranger. Then the man ask to his wife "What are you doing?" and she answer
"Don't you see, IDIOT!".
Title: Rectum stretcher
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge
only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing
smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "What do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum
stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then
four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I
slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS
For everything else, there's MasterCard!
This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet
If you see this dancer look in the direction clockwise is that you use your right brain.
If you see the turn in the other direction, you use the left brain ...
Some people see the turn in both directions, but most people only see in only one direction.
Try to rotate in one direction, concentrate again to change of direction!
Both lines can really be seen!
Experiments have shown that the two hemispheres of the brain different influential in our thinking.
The following list illustrates the differences between the thinking left hemisphere and the right
hemisphere thought:
LEFT:
Logical, sequential, rational, analytical, objective focuses on the details.
RIGHT:
Intuitive, random, irrational, synthetic, subjective looks at the totality.
Most people have a distinctive preference for any of these ways of thinking.
Some, however, are more likely on a hemisphere or the other, or both.
In general, the school tends to promote ways of thinking left hemisphere.
The subjects left hemisphere focus on logic, analysis, and like accuracy.
The topics right hemisphere focused on aesthetics, feelings and creativity.
